Friday, October 31, 2008

Decision 08

So, election day is only four days away - depending on whether or not we count today. We've been hearing about these candidates for literally years now, if you count the primary elections (which I do), so many of us will just be relieved to have a new president and get on with our lives. And so, it is down to two... but wait, is it? Ok, we all know that a third party is not going to win the election, but do we even know what other parties are running and who their candidates are? I didn't, until today, so I thought I'd share what I'd learned.

First there's a guy named Chuck Baldwin, who gets points just for being named Chuck. He's running for the Constitution party. He apparently used to be a Republican but decided he hated Bush so much (in 2000, before the whole Iraq... thing) that he left the party and has been a vocal detractor ever since. Apparently he's buddy-buddy with Ron Paul, so whether that earns him points or a wedgie is up to you. A brief synopsis on his positions on the important issues of this election is provided by Wikipedia: "Baldwin strongly opposes the new world order, the United Nations, U.S. income taxes, the Patriot Act, and assaults on individual liberties in general; he would withdraw troops from Iraq and attempt to end illegal immigration. Emphasizing America's Christian heritage, he strongly supports the gold standard, the right to keep and bear arms, homeschooling, and pro-life legislation such as the Sanctity of Life Act." Read more at his campaign website. Chuck Baldwin everybody -

Next up, there's Robert Lawrence "Bob" Barr, Jr. representing the Libertarian party (more disgruntled Republicans). He apparently was one of the leaders of the impeachment of Bill Clinton. He has been called "the idol of the gun-toting, abortion-fighting, IRS-hating hard right wing of American politics" which is quite a title if you ask me. However, he, like Chuck above, has been vocal against the Bush administration and, like McCain, has earned himself the title of "Maverick."About Iraq, he has said "The next president should commit to a speedy and complete withdrawal from Iraq, and tell the Iraqi people that the U.S. troops will be going home." He apparently wants to repeal the 16th amendment and do away with income tax in favor of a Fair Tax. He opposed the national bailout bill (he seems to be against government meddling all together). Campaign slogan? Liberty for America. To read more about him visit the official campaign website. Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Barr and his wicked mustache:

Then there's Cynthia McKinney. You know, Barack Obama gets all this press (some say good, some say bad) and attention focused on his race. Sarah Palin gets all this talk about her being a woman and headed (possibly?) for the White House. Well get this... Cynthia McKinney is both black and a woman - and her running mate (Rosa Clemente) is also a woman. So there. They represent the Green party, and apparently at one point McKinney led an effort to try to impeach President Bush. She wants an orderly withdrawal from Iraq and supports human rights legislation. Read more about her at her official campaign website (which I am sad to say is not easy to navigate). Here she is everyone, Cynthia McKinney:

Whew, only two more to go. Did you know this many people were running? So, next up we've got Ralph Nader (again) running Independent. He ran for president in 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, and now again in 2008. He apparently wants to end the policy of pre-emptive war, supports a rapid withdrawal from Iraq, and favors cutting the "bloated military budget." He favors the Fair Tax system, and he wants to adopt a Wall Street securities speculations tax. As for the environment, he wants to adopt a carbon emissions tax and promotes exploring solar power before nuclear power. He's two years older than John McCain. Read more about the campaign here. Ralph Nader, everyone:

And, last but not least, Charles Jay of the Boston Tea Party (which I have decided is the best name for a political party ever). He is also apparently courting the Ron Paul supporters - his campaign website claims "Ron Paul Revolutionaries Welcome!"Apparently when he ran in 2004 with the Personal Choice Party, his running mate was an adult movie star. Not a former adult movie star, a current one. His website stinks and so does the Wikipedia article, so I can only sum up his platform through the platform of his party: "The Boston Tea Party supports reducing the size, scope and power of government at all levels and on all issues, and opposes increasing the size, scope and power of government at any level, for any purpose." Also they want to get out of Iraq and reduce the national debt. His lame website can be found here. So there you have it, folks Charles Jay:

What I see in common, among all the candidates except John McCain, is that everyone wants out of Iraq and what I see in common among all the candidates is no one likes Bush. They sure do know how to appeal to the current American. So, who am I voting for? Let's just say that despite the awesome name of his party and the zombie-esque nature of his campaign slogan from 2004, it will not be Charles Jay.


Anonymous said...

You left out the candidate for the Socialist Party. He was interviewed this week on The Colbert Report and was pretty pissed that people refer to McCain or Obama as being socialist when HE'S the real thing. It was cool.

Jacob I. McMillan said...

Good post. BRRRRAAAAINS. By any chance, is the adult movie star who once ran with Charles Jay the same adult movie star who ran for governor of California back in 2003 when they were doing that recall vote thing?